Maybe a more apt name for this is: ‘list of things you shouldn’t do if you want me to not start judging and disliking you’
When people mis-quote
By this I don’t mean when people get movie/tv quotes wrong, I mean like when people are relaying a message somebody else has said, and they get it wrong to the point where the message gets messed up. So many times I’ve had to go ‘no, I/she/he/they didn’t say that!’, and then the person gets all defensive and touchy, when they’re the one who’s messed up what’s going on, and I’m left looking like the bad guy.
When people say my english is good
I mean, really? This is the 21st century we’re living in. Is it so wrong that I’m not white and have english as a first language? People still seem so surprised, then somewhat disappointed that I’m not going to dance around like a monkey and speak my ‘native’ language. I mean, come on. There’s no easy way for me to come back from that either, either I’m left saying ‘thanks’ and they go on their merry way thinking they’ve got a new exotic friend, or I say something along the lines of ‘um, yeah, but it’s my first language’, to which they always clam up and things just get really awkward very quickly.
I’ve been so tempted on many occasions to say ‘yeah well yours is good too’ and fight them down when they go ‘oh but it’s my FIRST language’, but I always get the feeling they’ll just assume – me being all non-english and all – that I’ll have mistranslated it and meant it as a compliment to them… There’s no winning!!
When people call me anything other than my name
Sweety, Sweetie, Hun, Babe, Darling, Girl – if you’re not going to call me by my real name, don’t call me anything! Seriously, this one has to be the most abused out of the lot. Certain situations make this okay, say for example if we’re on the field together – which is often the place for the creation of new nicknames – yes, if we’re teammates you can call me anything you like, but other than that just call me by my name!!
The worst of these is when men (usually Indian/Sri Lankan/Pakistani people I’ve met) call me ‘girl’. I mean to them it’s normal, and the girls call them ‘sir’, but something about it really just irritates me. I suppose it’s a culture thing, but I shouldn’t have to follow your rules – I don’t follow any of your other ones, why should this be different?! After a while I learnt just not reply until they used my name. It works most of the time…
I suppose the only acceptable exception to this rule is my boyfriend – pet names from him are wonderful, pet names from anyone else and I want to hurl and punch them at the same time.
When people talk to you for no reason (facebook)
This one’s pretty self explanatory. Not that I’m the busiest person in the world, nor the most important, but that doesn’t mean my time is fair game for anybody who just wants to waste it. If we’re close friends, I don’t mind, usually something fun comes out of it – but if I don’t know you well, don’t expect me to put in heaps of effort to maintain a rigorously pointless conversation.
When people post pointless, attention-seeking statuses/tweets (facebook/twitter/ANY social media outlet)
Same applies here, except I suppose I don’t have any obligation to respond. That said, I do take joy in either a) providing a response that sufficiently denounces your attention-seeking, or just b) watching as nobody takes notice of your overdramatized lives being relayed by cryptic one word/quote postings that leave you oh-so-eager to know more… /sarcasm
When people belittle (or entirely remove) their idea of my cricket skills because I’m a girl
This is probably the easiest way to rile me up as far as cricket is concerned. Nothing deflates your ego as having a man see he’s about to bowl to you, then decide to bowl underarm. I mean, not that I’m an amazing batsman (yet), but I opened for Hong Kong in several U19 tournaments, I don’t want any of your smug chauvinism, you can take that and
shove it up give it to the people who post the attention-seeking posts (above)..
I was in the shops the other day, and I was telling a male cashier how I was selected to be in a cricket tournament – his exact words “Oh cool… wait, like playing?” My mind immediately went, ‘No, I’ve been selected to make sandwiches for all the buff strong men who if I’m lucky will woo me one day and then I can become their doting housewife and do house chores for the rest of my life, because y’know – thank god for men!’ I mean, come on! I didn’t say anything, but oh boy I felt like it.