Late Night Thoughts in Stockholm

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, ‘This is what it is to be happy.’”

– Sylvia Plath

This evening I watched a movie – The Intern. It was great in that feel-good manner, where you feel that inspirational lift and your thoughts get that extra dash of optimism. It made me think about who I want to be when I’m older, and what kind of person I want to be. 
De Niro’s character is so full of genuine life advice, coming from a mix of a history of being successful and a benevolent quiet observation. And I realised – that’s the kind of person I want to be, if I make it that far. I want to be someone who makes younger people go, “Wow, they really lived.” I want to be able to chime in with crazy tales of adventure, mishaps, and romance. I want to have truly lived, not just for the opportunity to tell others, but for myself. 

That being said, I suppose I’m very much on the right track to get there. I’m typing this in the dark on my phone in a bedroom in Sweden. Two nights ago I was in Poland. Tomorrow night my head will come to rest on a pillow in Amsterdam. I decided earlier this year that I was going to take myself on more of a solo adventure (I had money saved up for another holiday that didn’t happen), and so here I am. 

I’m finally getting out and throwing myself into the things I want to do, and it feels so good. 

I am so overwhelmed with how well the trip has gone so far. In London I stayed with my eldest sister and my nieces, who I haven’t seen in far too long. In Poland, I stayed with a work friend who I’ve known for less than a year but who is my ultimate partner in crime. Right now I am staying with a girl I met while she was on exchange in Australia. Our time over there was fleeting but getting to see her again has been so wonderful. In Amsterdam I will be staying in a place by myself, but I’m meeting up with another Australian friend who I’m long overdue a catch up with (and hey, why not do it in Amsterdam? Such a privileged position to find oneself in). Then I’m off back to Scotland for the first time in years with my family, before finally coming back to London and then on to Melbourne. 

It’s been non-stop and I love it. Up early, out late. Rinse and repeat. I think once I fall into bed when I get back to Melbourne, I will not be leaving it for a week. I’m exhausted but in the best way. I never want to forget this feeling, nor take it for granted. Never ever. 


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